ten minutes on USA Today and WOW.

Little snip of marketing ingenuity - or rather a big SCREW YOU on the price tag of a Super Bowl commercial and a sure fire way to make us love Papa J. anyway. Well, as long as we get an overtime.

"Each of 2010's advertisers that turned thumbs down this year has a different reason. Among the most interesting is Papa John's, which Monday will announce plans to give a free large pizza to every American — if the Super Bowl goes into its first-ever overtime. The catch: You must sign up for its online loyalty program before game day (Feb. 6)." SIGN UP! SIGN UP!

Now comes this bit, it seems we just dumb down and become as ambiguous as we can about the BAD news so it doesn't make headlines with dramatic searchable keywords. We'll just sort of kind of maybe this is what happened we're not really sure, tell the story.

I'm sorry, why isn't this a bit of a bigger deal?! Former Chief of staff, dead. The Fire Dept found heavy smoke and fire coming from a garage at the back of the home. Once firefighters extinguished the flames, they discovered a person inside a sport-utility vehicle. Better yet...."Piringer said the fire apparently started after the vehicle crashed into something, perhaps inside the garage, and the victim was unable to get out."

Right, yea, that makes sense.

Or how about the destined for success Yale student hitting it hard as he LEAPS OFF THE 86TH FLOOR OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING in "an apparent suicide jump"?! How apparent can it be people? Its okay, they wrapped it up with a nice fact buffer. So you're kid can go to Yale too."The Empire State Building is the third-tallest building in the United States. More than 30 people have committed suicide at the building since it opened in 1931. The most recent was believed to have been in 2006." That's cool, we're not even clear about the last time? "Hmm, anybody remember when those tourists from Kansas were visiting New York in what 2006? And all the sudden, haha, that body landed RIGHT in front of them on the sidewalk!?"

All ranting aside, I leave you with this. Homeless people causing a ruckus in a Burger King is no "new" news, but an employee hitting them so hard they die of brain trauma? That's new.