A Tuesday Night Provided by Frasier.
Ice Cream Edition
When life gets you down, the way I see it, you have two
roads to choose from. You either face it head on or sit down on the curb and
cry for some ice cream. The problem I have found myself in is that I convince
myself into facing it head-on because that’s the noble thing (and sometimes only
option), when really all I want is to sit on the curb and have some ice cream.
But, what happens is you get sad sitting on the curb with your ice cream when
you don’t have anyone to sit with. So, instead of feeling sorry for yourself on
two accounts, you chin up and carry on with it. Which truly works fine for the
time being - I quite like it! But then a few months pass by and those feelings
you ran through, quite literally, come creeping back when you’re supposed to
have moved on. And now you really don’t have anyone to connect with on the
matter, because the rest of the people in your life not only assume you’re past
it, but they’ll wonder what’s wrong with you when they find out you’re still
hung up on it.
The thought I must interject here – THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST
MISERABLE, ALIENATING, LONESOME FEELINGS YOU COULD EVER EXPERIENCE.
So what do you do now? Process what’s left unanswered inside
of you. Hold nothing back. What you’re feelng is just and must come out some
time! Perhaps your grieving period, yep, we’re calling it that, comes later
than others. We all know that each of us process grief differently. The
important thing to remember and I cannot emphasize this enough, is if you know
someone who is going through a traumatic time, put nothing on them. Because the
process has begun much later than you would expect, doesn’t mean that it’s any
different than had it started the day of or after the moment of trauma. However,
none of this self loathing or unwillingness to move on business. Come on now – you’re
alive, and you only have one of these, so make the most of it. In that same
vein where I believe a person should feel their grief to it’s full extent, we
also must feel and experience our life’s
potential and opportunity for joy! Man, I am no expert on the subject so I feel
like I should quit while I’m ahead. I’m only speaking from experience up to
this point but hopefully someday I’ll be better able to advise on the remainder
of this part. Hang in there and hold their hand and remind them of what’s
important in life and what’s to come. They won’t be able to see that because
their lost in their own emotional mess. We, they, need you to sit by their side
and provide nudges of motivation, hope and direction for someone who cannot
see.
Erin Kells. Janelle Axtell. Adam Brown. I thank you.